“You look like someone who might appreciate a good brain teaser. Thirty men with ladies, two. Standing around with nothing to do, dressed
in formal, black and white. Yet when they move it begins a fight. What am I?”
“Yes! God, remember that one? I–That song must be so dated now. Thank you for getting the reference!”
A smile of her own spread across her face, enjoying the moment despite the lack of lightness to the song itself. God knows how it managed to worm its way into her head.
“You’re good. Even if you were just indulging me, you have a very nice voice. You should do some karaoke sometime. You’d be great at it.”
His head dropped in abashment for a moment, but it didn’t last long. Her words stroked some deeper EGO within that he rarely let out.
“Do you truly think so? Maybe I will — but only if you sing duets with me.”
It wasn’t often that he was this assertive. Fuck it. He started another song at the drop of a hat:
“Mama, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead.”
It was an unbelievably pleasant day that afternoon, so Edward took an extra long walk in the beautiful gardens at Cobblepot Manor. There’d been such a hustle and bustle around the place given recent events, and right now, he simply needed to GET AWAY from it all.
Tracing his hands along a vine-carpeted wall, he sighed into the fresh air, shutting his eyes for a moment of clarity. Just a few seconds later he heard rustling nearby and turned the corner of the wall, brows drawn.
“Oswald!” he uttered, relieved. There were a few garden chairs set up in a small shelter at the far end of the property.
Of all the people he had to endure right now, he could more than welcome the other man, who was likely just as stressed lately as he. So he smiled and approached with a question:
Oswald snapped rather suddenly. It wasn’t EXACTLY suppose to come out the way it had but Ed had probed an insecurity— a sore spot that he’d be ignoring for some time now. It wasn’t that Ed looked like the kind of man that had as LITTLE friends as he did— though that was probably true— no, it was more to fact that Oswald perhaps knew that Jim was hardly a real friend.
He hadn’t been very kind to him lately. No matter how much he helped Jim had a way of THROWING it back in his face. Since they met Jim had reminded him of someone. Harold Scott. He played baseball and everyone liked him. He was class captain and he was Oswald’s friend.… Sort of. When it was convenient. When NO ONE ELSEwas around.
His jaw twisted as his sharp outburst came to settle. Hands ran down the lapels of his coat as he composed himself, straightening himself to a appear a little less like he was about to go for the other man’s JUGULAR. A tense encounter turned awkward. He’d have half a mind to just waddle away right now and clearly he was going to.
Seeing his chance — that pained GLEAM in the other’s eye and the way the Penguin’s voice turned even more hoarse than usual — he pounced.
“I can see that you’re upset, so I want to apologise for observing something that was clearly not my place to comment on. I assure you that I will never, ever do that again. Good day, Mr Penguin.”
Ed turned half-way around, but left a little space to maneuver back for a split-second, as if his decision were TRULYsudden.
“But if you decide that you want to discuss what friendship has the power of doing for you, don’t hesitate to drop by again.”
“By the way…” A few beats passed before he resumed: “People like us, we’re no strangers to betrayal. Let not yours be dealt by someone so VERY unworthy.”
“Oh my god, it’s Ed… ED!” Oswald waved. “Ed, over here!! Hi!”
Turning briefly from an office intern with a finger up to signal a minute, Ed saw the smaller man wave and gave him a smile in return. He’d excused himself from conversation and approached his friend, arms crossed at his back. Oh but this suit was such a nice fit.
“Oswald — no, excuse me, Mister Mayor.”
Ed’s smile was BRILLIANT as he addressed Gotham’s new leader, this strange feeling of accomplishment swelling in his chest.
“Enjoying your new title yet? I haven’t been graced by your presence in a few days.”
He almost gave Oswald a fright THIS TIME around, on the count that he hadn’t seen him coming. The last time was similar, he came looking for Jim and instead found… This guy, who seemed all too eager to strike up a conversation in his own.. STRANGE, irksome way after following him through the GCPD.
Someone should have told him that riddles were not exactly great icebreakers. Oswald didn’t have time for them or odd men he didn’t know. When he came to the GCPD he did so because he wanted to TALK to Jim and usually it was a matter of great importance. ( though, occasionally such a matter was as truly frivolous as a party invitation. ) He stopped dead in his tracks, a slight WOBBLE due to an unstable leg and a sharp inhale that accompanied a look of thunder to the taller man.
This again. Same man. Same annoying brain teasers that he never asked for. Same sudden OBSTRUCTIVE appearance. He managed to ward him off the last time so surely he could do so again.
❝Please, STEP ASIDE, sir! I have urgent business to attend to. ❞
He snapped dismissively. It seemed like Oswald might burst forward and sink his teeth into the other mans NECK at any time despite the smile and the difference in their heights. It was of course a very strained one and there was barely any real benevolence behind his beady blue eyes, so it wouldn’t exactly be ❛ unexpected ❜.
Stepping in time with the man’s uneven gait, as though he might offer a helping hand, Ed continued on a breath as though he hadn’t heard the veiled threat.
“An executioner! He needed to off his own wife. Isn’t that wonderfully morbid?“
The arm hovering probably much too close to the dangerous man finally raised to steady his glasses. Can’t look too shoddy before a famous person such as THIS! So many thoughts whirred in his mind, but foremost was how far he was able to PUSH the Penguin’s buttons. His death wish was showing.
“Before you go looking for Detective Gordon, I just thought you should know that he isn’t your real friend, Mr. Penguin.”
Since the day they officially met, there was a little inkling in Ed’s brain telling him to keep an eye on that one. Naturally he gave ALL of his cases his complete and utter devotion but this one… this needed a very pointed forensic eye that no one but the brilliant Edward Nygma could provide.
Scrutinising file by file, watching the news broadcasts, running his finger over all articles pertaining to the ladder-climbing criminal, he finally found a weakness to exploit and it would be glorious. Always seek out the simplest approach and it shall lead to the simplest solution.
The next time his famed prey came to pay Jim Gordon a visit, Edward was right there in front of the man again.
“A man kills his wife in front of many witnesses, yet NO ONE can convict him of murder. How does this man do it?”
His manic grin was so bright, the overhead light bulbs flashed blindingly against his pearly whites. Dark brows were drawn suggestively, as though this riddle may have more than one meaning.
◘ This blog is selective && private to keep my dash from exploding. However, memes and short starters are fine with just about anyone!
◘ I reserve the right to play only within the fandoms I know, but I'm willing to expand my personal knowledge.
◘ OCs are great! — please have a detailed history/about page.
◘ Mun && muse are well over 18+, so NSFW [gore, violence, kinks, ptsd, etc.] and smut will be present && tagged with the prefix #tw: . Come to me personally for the smut, though.
◘ I'm not an exclusives sort of person, as I think that every incarnation of a character has something special to offer, but I can consider mains if you'd like to shoot me an ask about it.
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